Day 227: Numb Isn’t the Same as Healing

Day 227: Numb Isn’t the Same as Healing

“Drinking never asked me how I was feeling. It just let me forget I felt anything at all.” — Unknown

Today… was one of those days. For the first time in 227 days, I wanted to drink.

Not because I needed a celebration. Not because anything big happened. But because the silence got too loud, and I just wanted it all to shut off for a while.

I didn’t want to feel the ache. I didn’t want to sit with the heaviness. I didn’t want to be the only voice in my own head. I just wanted… nothing. And that’s what alcohol always promised—nothingness. No pain. No memories. No thoughts. Just stillness disguised as peace.

But here’s the thing:

Numb isn’t the same as healing.

And silence at the bottom of a bottle is just loneliness in disguise.

So I didn’t drink.

Instead, I walked with Magnolia. I breathed. I stayed busy. I sat in the discomfort and reminded myself that I’ve made it through worse.

Not because I’m unbreakable—because I’m learning how to feel again without crumbling.

If you’re reading this and you’ve ever wanted to quit life just to quit feeling, I see you. I get it. But please, just for today, don’t.

Stay. Even if the only reason you do is because someone like me is staying too.

One Step. One Punch. One Round.🌹

—Your Fellow Traveler