Day 210: The Paradox of Letting Go

Day 210: The Paradox of Letting Go 

“You can only lose what you cling to.” —Buddha

Today was a rollercoaster of emotions, a true testament to the struggles of trying to let go. It’s ironic, perhaps, that in the act of holding on so tightly to what I fear losing, I might actually be facilitating its loss. This thought has been echoing in my mind as I navigate the complexities of my feelings towards Hope and our shared past.

Letting go is a concept that’s easier understood than practiced, especially when it involves someone as significant as Hope has been in my life. The fear of never seeing her again, of losing not just her presence but the part of me that she awakened, is overwhelming. Yet, as Buddha wisely pointed out, my fear of loss is directly tied to my reluctance to let go.

Today, I realized that in every moment I spend clinging to the hope of what could be, I might be missing out on what is. The silence that fills my days now that I’m truly alone isn’t just empty; it’s a canvas waiting to be filled with new experiences, new growth, and perhaps, new understanding.

The isolation has been both a cage and a cocoon. While it once fed my despair, it also forced me to face myself in ways I had avoided. Now, as I attempt to emerge from that cocoon, I understand that the transformation isn’t complete until I can let go of the shell that once enclosed me.

So today, I chose to stay busy, to fill my time with tasks that keep my hands and mind occupied. I helped a friend with yard work, immersed myself in the physicality of hiking, and tried to stay present in every step and every breath. Each action was a small exercise in letting go, a practice in focusing on the moment instead of the haunting what-ifs that tend to occupy my thoughts.

While the journey of letting go is fraught with uncertainty, I am learning that it is also filled with potential. Each day provides a new opportunity to practice releasing my grip on the past and embracing the possibilities of now. Maybe I can’t see the future without Hope yet, but I can start to live in a present where I am open to whatever comes next.

Day 210,

One Step. One Punch. One Round.🌹

—Your Fellow Traveler